


After Midnight

by Ursula



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-25
Updated: 2004-06-25
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:19:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursula/pseuds/Ursula
Summary: Mulder wants the perfect gift for Walter.





	After Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Pairing: Mulder/Skinner/Krycek 

Rating: NC-17 

Status: Not beta read, but complete 

Date Posted: 6-26-03 

Archive: FHSA 

Classification: Goofy not beta read snippet for Maddie's birthday 

Series/Sequel: Is this story part of a series: 

Web Site: http://fhsarchive.com/ursula/ or http://fhsarchive.popullus.org/ursula/ 

Disclaimers: I do not own the X-Files. The characters belong to 1013, Chris Carter, Fox, and whomever currently has domain. 

Notes: 

 

Start spreading the news 

I'm leaving today 

I want to be a part of it, New York, New York 

These vagabond shoes 

Are longing to stray 

And make a brand new start of it 

New York, New York 

 

Warnings: Silly beyond redemption 

 

Time Frame: Twelfth of never 

 

 

It was raining so hard that Mulder should have been forgiven for ducking into the crowded curiosity shop. The aged proprietor peered at him through wire-rimmed glasses. 

 

 

"Yes, may I help you?" 

 

 

"Um," Mulder said with the brilliance for which he was noted. Looking around wildly, he said, I wanted to get a gift for my significant other. Something beautiful and rare for his birthday." 

 

 

"I see," the aged Chinese man said. He snapped his fingers and said, "Nephrite, attend." 

 

 

A tall man emerged. Mulder swiftly reacted with a conditioned reflex, grabbing the man who he believed to be Krycek and pinning him to the wall. He held the slender, delectable throat back with his forearm while he gave gratuitous pelvic thrusts against the straining groin. 

 

 

"Stop, stop, you are damaging the merchandise," the storekeeper said, belaboring Mulder's back with an ivory cane he pulled from somewhere. Finally, he splashed a bucket of cold water over Mulder, dampening his natural enthusiasm for Krycek abuse. 

 

 

Panting, Mulder observed with pleasure, the trembling fists, the tearful eyes, and the mouth parted as if for a brutal kiss. So fucking beautiful... 

 

 

The proprietor tsked as he washed off the tears, patted Krycek's cheek, and said, "If you purchase him, you can do as you like with him. Although why you would want to abuse such a sweet creature, I have no idea." 

 

 

"Wait a minute, slavery is against the law!" Mulder said indignantly. "You can't sell people!" 

 

 

"Why certainly it is now," the aged Asian agreed, "But this is not a person. Nephrite is a character. I just bought him from his maker. In fact, there the man goes. Shall I stop him and have him explain to you that he had rights to this lovely creature?" 

 

 

Mulder saw a figure which struck reasonless fear in his heart. It was a man with long silver hair, wearing surfing gear that appeared to be showing its age. His shoes were worn and he carried a battered briefcase as if he had been trying to sell some creative ideas before the storm overtook him. 

 

 

Swiftly hiding behind a mummy case, Mulder said, "That's okay. I'd rather not speak to him." 

 

 

After enough time passed for Mulder to feel safe, he said, "I'd like to take Nephrite in the backroom and examine him before I buy. I've found inferior, illegal alien-made copies in the past and I certainly don't want to buy another one on an installment plam." 

 

 

"Certainly, but don't abuse the privilege. Don’t squeeze the Nephrite," said the storekeeper. 

 

 

OooOooO 

 

 

Nephrite or Krycek followed Mulder willingly around the counter to the back. The backroom held a variety of merchandise. There was a rare spools of threads, including the lost plots of formerly popular shows, the thread of silver on a hallowed head, and of course, the rare straw into gold yarn. Exotic fruit and vegetables such as the fruit of the vine, the apples of the sun, and a durian or two were piled in a barrel. 

 

Pulling off the creature's shirt, Mulder ran his fingers over the back of his neck. He couldn't find any suspicious ridges and the face certainly didn't peel dramatically off. There were no scars anywhere except for UPC lettering in the form of a tattoo that circled the left bicep. When Mulder checked closely, he found a tiny warning phrase beneath the numbers and symbols. It said, 'Do not remove under penalty of law.' 

 

Krycek should have thought of this before. 

 

Just to be certain, Mulder tugged off Krycek's belt and tugged down his tight black jeans. For one moment, he was afraid he would find this Krycek to be as genderless as a Ken doll. Thank the creator, life was not so cruel. 

 

Krycek's cock nestled like a sweet puppy in its bed of dark brown curls. Mulder could not resist a swift pet and felt an immediate response. Out of some atavistic urge to make sure that his buy was fresh, Mulder fondled each firm bun and found them delightfully squeezable. A finger inserted between the buns made Mulder drool with anticipation. Only the memory that he was buying Walter a birthday gift stopped him from plucking Nephrite's cherry right there in the storeroom. 

 

"Krycek, do you know me?" Mulder asked. 

 

A sunny smile crossed Alex's face and he said, "Of course, I do, Mulder." 

 

"But you were dead," Mulder said. 

 

"I had enough points to earn a new man," Krycek said. 

 

"Oh, that makes sense," Mulder said, looking around to see if there was little man with baggy coveralls and a mustache lurking about. 

 

"I was thinking of buying you for Walter," Mulder said, "For a birthday present. He gets so bored of conventional gifts." 

 

"I am fully functional," Alex said. "I can make love. I can give presentations. I can answer his phone for him...here, listen: Look who's answering the bat phone." 

 

"Very nice," Mulder said, "Although Kim likes to answer the phone at work." 

 

"If you have no objection, and I certainly have no objection," Mulder said, "Let's go close the deal with your uh retailer." 

 

"Don't forget the proof of purchase. You can use it to redeem me," Alex said. 

 

"Oh, good, yes, I'll bet you need a lot of redeeming," Mulder agreed. 

 

With Alex dressed, the pair ventured back into the shop area just as a stout, worried looking man exited with a small box from which a trilling noise issued. Mulder said, "Wrap him up and cuff him. I'll take him." 

 

The shopkeeper said, "Very well, excellent choice I might add. There are just a few additional instructions. Please sign this waiver of indemnity." 

 

The language seemed unexceptional. Not responsible if product is infested with black oil. Not liable for any abductions, which result from use by unauthorized individuals who have serious smoking addictions. It is illegal to subject Nephrites to long imprisonments in rusting cargo ships or Tunisian prisons except for plot devices. Use of the Department of Transportation statistics program illegal while actually operating a vehicle. (Sleepiness may result.) 

 

Mulder carefully signed each codicil and then initialed the underlined sections. 

 

Don't eat him after midnight. 

 

Don't use wet as lubricant. 

 

Don't be keep him in the dark. 

 

The price wasn’t cheap, but Mulder didn't mind. He was happy to buy Walter a gift that kept right on giving. Krycek would have a thousand and one uses. A thousand and two if they gave him a ginzu knife. 

 

OooOooO 

 

"Honey, I'm home," Mulder shouted. 

 

"Just a minute," Walter said as he sauntered down the stairs putting a red maraschino cherry in his navel. He was naked unless you could count the fruit that capped his nipples and clung to the whipped cream with which he had covered his cock. A few chocolate sprinkles decorated in good taste. 

 

"Sir, I have your birthday present," Mulder said. 

 

"Really?" Walter answered a little nervously. Some previous gifts had not gone well. The old buddies Mulder had located and invited to the house to celebrate Veteran's Day turned out to be men whom Walter had fleeced at poker when he was in Vietnam. After all, he needed to buy grass in order to inhale it. The Palm Pilot that Mulder chose for Christmas caused a heart fibrillation of major proportions. 

 

Pulling Krycek forward, Mulder said, "Voila!" 

 

"I see, Agent Mulder," Walter said, pursing his lips. "And where did you find him?" 

 

"In an olde curiosity shop," Mulder replied. "I thought you would like him better than the mummified man or the ship in a bottle." 

 

By this time, Walter's tower of whipped cream had drooped a little, but he was man enough to approach Krycek and give him a tentative poke...all without using his hands. 

 

"This is the most original gift I have ever been given," Walter said. 

 

Alex licked his lips and leaned forward to nibble lovingly at one of the cherries covering Walter's nipples. 

 

"I think I like it," Walter said. "Come on, Mulder. Let's get him upstairs and give him a try." 

 

OooOooO 

 

Shortly afterwards, the three men tumbled into bed. Mulder had left a trail of clothing from the foot of the stairs along the entire length and down the hall. Stopping to lick Walter squeaking clean, Mulder and Krycek gained those fat calories they would need for the arduous labor of love in front of them. Walter happily grabbed a handful of Alex's hair and bent his head back to mark his neck with a trail of hickeys. 

 

Mulder remembered to check in the bed table drawer to make sure that no Wet was lurking in the ample supply. He found Lickit and Luvitt chocolate cream, Astroglide, Aqualube, Probe, and Dynamite Prolonging Cream, not that they usually needed it, but better safe than sorry. 

 

Choosing the Astroglide in blue, Mulder rolled the condom on Walter's towering inferno of love. 

 

"Have at him, big guy," Mulder muttered lustfully. 

 

"I'm taking my time," Walter replied. "Hold your horses." 

 

Mulder didn't see any horses, which was a relief. He really wasn't that kinky. However to pass the time, he decided to do some tantric yoga. Walter especially liked the position where Mulder held his feet in his hands. It was something about the way his cute asshole winked merrily at him so nicely exposed. 

 

Walter's lips hovered above Alex's plump pink cock, more delectable than a ballpark frank. 

 

"Wait, what time is it?" Mulder asked. 

 

"About ten thirty," Walter said. "Why? You afraid you're going to miss a rerun of Jerry Springer?" 

 

"No, there are some rules that you have to know. First, you must never eat him after midnight, secondly, you must never get him lubed with Wet, and thirdly, you can't ever keep him in the dark," Mulder said, between his angled knees. 

 

"What kind of crap is this? Where exactly did you find Alex?" Walter demanded. 

 

Alex drummed his fingers impatiently on Walter's skull. He sighed and looked pointedly at the clock. 

 

"Well, it was raining and I ran into a little store for shelter," Mulder said. "The guy was looking at me as I was going to shoplift something so I said I wanted to buy you a Birthday's gift. Just like that, he called Alex out of the back and sold him to me." 

 

"You can't buy a person!" Walter said. 

 

"You can if they are a character," Mulder said. Somehow it made better sense when the old man had said it. 

 

"Did you even ask him if he wanted this?' Walter asked in a shocked tone. 

 

"Not exactly," Mulder said. 

 

"Can you hurry up and fuck me already?" Alex interjected. 

 

Walter forgot about moral arguments. In fact he forgot about the entire conversation. 

 

His mouth enclosed Alex's wilting erection as his big blunt fingers inserted themselves as quickly as possible to open the dear boy's virgin ass. Alex moaned and shuddered, looking up at Walter with a pleading expression. Mulder could see that Alex had struck just the right note with his lover. All that neediness just made Walter feel strong and manly. It let the big man's libido off the leash. 

 

 

"Oh, please," Alex begged, giving Walter the full effects of first his wide-open eyes and then the gradual droop of his lashes, as if he couldn't keep the natural glory of his plumage aloft. 

 

 

"I need you," Alex said, in a breaking voice. 

 

"I'm right here," Walter said, his body tense as he slowly was engulfed by Alex's yearning flesh. 

 

As lovely as it was to watch, Mulder moved down to lean over Alex. His lover reached up to drag his mouth toward his own. His kiss was desperate as if Mulder's lips held life-sustaining breath. 

 

Mulder reached for Alex's cock, holding it in his hand, feeling the throb of blood. It felt flame hot, quivering as if it could take flight. They kissed; Mulder smiled as he felt Walter's hand grab at his hair, bringing his mouth up to taste as he thrust into Alex. Mulder had only meant to play a little, but now he couldn't wait to join his lovers. Alex's hand encased him, urging him to thrust into it. 

 

Moaning, Mulder found himself smothered in kisses, his cock teased at first by all the friction and then frustrated by wanting more. As soon as Walter roared his pleasure, Mulder took his place, thrusting deep into his dear sweet Alex. Alex didn't seem to mind. His legs locked around Mulder and he rode up on him, pushing his ass up to receive him. His yell was buried in Walter's kiss as he came copiously, splattering both himself and Mulder. 

 

Too exhausted to do more than glance at the clock and make 

sure that a light was on and that it was not yet past midnight, Mulder purred happily and put Walter's hand on his hip as he went to sleep, tangled in Alex's legs. 

 

OooOooO 

 

Mornings after can be rough, but this one wasn't. Walter woke with a grin on his face. Mulder's nose snuggled in his neck. During the night, Alex had shifted around so his mouth was inches from Walter's cock. His warm, moist breath had evoked a definite hard on. Walter's hand found Alex's hair and stroked it. Sweetly, Alex woke and opened his mouth to allow Walter's cock inside. What a great way to start the day... 

 

Sure that his staff thought that he was finally on Zoloft, Walter maintained his good mood throughout the workday. He came home to a clean house although neither lover was in sight. Following the sound of moans and squeaks, he found Alex riding Mulder's cock. The Russian was naked except for rat ears and a tail. His own natural ratty ass bounced excitedly up and down as he slid on Mulder's Maypole. The faster he moved the more he squeaked and the lower and more delightfully Mulder groaned. 

 

Damn, Mulder better have his ass lubed, because Walter wasn't going to last long enough for extensive prep. That despite the way Alex was outfitted. Walter tried very hard to block that from his subconscious. 

 

As Mulder arched upward, bellowing in pleasure, Alex also arched, catching sight of Walter and greeting him with an upside down smile. 

 

"Mulder, you better top Mickey-mousing around and have that ass warmed up for me," Walter said, his suit hitting the floor in an untidy heap. 

 

"I'm ready. Alex and I were just passing time until you came," Mulder assured. 

 

"Nearly did seeing you," Walter admitted. 

 

Mulder kneeled on the bed with open arms. The man knew how to kiss; Walter's hands explored his lover, enjoying the long straight back, the slightly sloped shoulders, and the lush ass. Without warning, Mulder flopped back, his legs parting like a drawbridge, and draping gracefully over Walter's shoulders. 

 

"Hey, Walter, I'm just like a park and ride, only you have in and out privileges," Mulder said. 

 

Mulder was a sexy man, but he was even sexier with Walter's cock in his mouth to stop him from saying things like that. Thankfully, Mulder thought Walter just loved oral sex... 

 

OooOooO 

 

Surprising, the days passed happily. 

 

Mulder knew he was supposed to remind Walter of something, but he couldn't remember what. He asked Alex if there was anything special about him that Walter needed to know. Alex merely sneered and said, "If I come with instructions, they're written some place where I can't read them. All I know its something about lube. I prefer Heat anyway." 

 

Meeting Mulder's eyes with a fiery glance, Alex said, "Come on, Mulder, let's fuck." 

 

Forgetting the need to remind Walter, Mulder said, " Good idea." 

 

Kissing Alex thoroughly, Mulder said, "I'm going to miss you while I'm gone. Come here, lover. Make it good. I want to still be thinking about this day after tomorrow." 

 

"Take me with you," Alex said, "I don't mind going to a UFO conference. I could take notes and fetch you iced tea and sunflower seeds. Look, I even have a new notepad." 

 

Although it was a very nice notebook, Mulder thought it was unfair to take Alex. After all Alex was Walter's birthday present. He would explain that to Alex later....after they made love. 

 

OooOooO 

 

"Be good, Alex," Mulder said, somewhat nervously. 

 

Alex merely threw his notebook down on the hall table. If he had a tail, it would be lashing. 

 

When Mulder tried to kiss Alex, his lover managed to tramp on his foot, all the while batting his eyes innocently at Walter. 

 

Nervously, Mulder said, "I could take him with me if he's going to be in your hair so to speak." 

 

Possessively, Walter tugged Alex to his side and said, "After all, he is my birthday present." 

 

"Yes, he is, and I know he is going to be a very good ratty while I'm gone," Mulder said. 

 

Alex's eyes twinkled demonically. 

 

Mulder would have said a prayer, but he wasn't sure which god to address. Was there a special god for resurrected double agents with beautiful green eyes? 

 

OooOooO 

 

There was no doubt about it. Alex was moping. Mulder hadn't been gone more than few hours, but Alex's little ratty nose was pressed to the window. He was leaving cute little nose marks all over. 

 

Patting his lap, Walter said, "Come here, darling. Are you sad?" 

 

Nodding his diminutive chin, Alex let his lips tremble. He sidled onto Walter's lap and nuzzled his neck. "Walter, I want toys. And, we're out of lube." 

 

"Out of lube?" Walter asked. "Could we have used that case?" 

 

"Yes, darling," Alex said. "Let's go to the Castle store and then we can ...play house." 

 

"I think we can do that," Walter said. "To the Castle. Then afterwards, we can joust all night." 

 

Wandering about the store, Walter felt dizzy with love for his sweet ratty pet and they walked through the aisles, hand in hand. 

 

Feeling romantic and powerful, Walter wanted to indulge Alex. Anything that caught Alex's eye went into the cart. By the time that they reached the lube aisle, the cart was nearly full. Walter's eyes were fixed on Alex's round butt. It bounced and Alex seemed to find a reason every few moments to lean down, stretching the worn denim thin across his wiggling ass. 

 

Smiling to himself, Walter said, "Well, Mulder, you finally got it right. This is the gift that keeps on giving. I'm going to enjoy having Alex to myself." 

 

The lube aisle was oddly depleted. There was very little on the usually well-stocked shelves. 

 

Walter snagged a wan looking clerk. She has what appeared to be black oil around her deeply circled eyes. Her makeup was apparently meant to recollect either a vampire or a recent victim of one. She scratched a torn place in her net hose and blinked sleepily at Walter. 

 

"Yeah, we had a rush on lube. Apparently some guy had a birthday, a very popular guy," the clerk said. "But look there is a entire shelf of Wet." 

 

Hmm, Walter knew that Mulder had something against Wet, but with Alex stroking his chest with a furry massage mitten, it really didn't seem very important. Tossing a twelve pack into the cart, Walter hurriedly headed for the check out. There was a long, impatient line waiting for the bored looking clerk. No amount of grumbling could speed the clerk who appeared to run at the speed of Valium. 

 

It was ten o'clock before they left the store. They hit every red light, two detours, and one police checkpoint. Alex was sulking after Walter turned down his suggestion that they could pull into an underground garage for a quickie. 

 

OooOooO 

 

Once he was handcuffed to the bed, warmed up with a French tickler, and had his perky nipples kissed, licked, nibbled, and flicked, Alex seemed to have forgiven the delay. He purred happily and wrapped himself around Walter, welcoming the slow, careful thrusts as Walter entered him. 

 

All the teasing seemed to have been Walter's undoing. He knew he wasn't going to be able to prolong this experience. He tried his best, but Alex was still hard when Walter came. Panting, Walter bent over Alex, assuring him that he would make him feel so good. 

 

It took a moment to find the energy to begin to tease Alex back out of his moodiness. Mulder should have gone for a lower maintenance model, perhaps. 

 

However, Walter knew how to coax lovers into a better mood. After all, he had been living with Mulder for a year and he had kept Sharon happy despite his few little slipups over the years. After all, as he had told Sharon, good houseboys were hard to find and should be kept happy at all costs. She had pointed out that he had given the beautiful Ramon more than just the tip he had expected . . . in fact, he had given him the entire seven inches. Sharon just didn’t understand how to handle the help . . .but enough about her.

 

Alex groaned and said, "As my Uncle Ivan used to say, that's good eating, Walter." 

 

"Finger-licking good," Walter agreed, doing just that before resuming his slow consumption of his writhing lover. 

 

The damn alarm went off. Why had Mulder set the alarm for midnight? The man was a nutcase at times, a delicious one, but given to strange practices. 

 

The alarm had gone silent before Alex rivaled its klaxon with a deep, undulating wail of his own. 

 

After snuggling, Walter rolled over on his side and slept like a log. You know, the Wet wasn't half bad. He had no idea why Mulder objected to having it in the house. Peculiar. 

 

OooOooO 

 

Waking was pandemonium. The room had been torn apart. Downstairs, it looked as if someone had thrown the contents of the fridge and the cupboards into a giant blender and left the lid off. All of Mulder's pornography was spread in his study and splattered with cum. 

 

Someone had hacked into Walter's briefcase and taken out his laptop. 

 

Hearing a movement behind him, Walter whirled, saw Alex, and said, "I'm going to teach you as lesson, boy." 

 

Marching Alex with an arm bent behind his back, Walter tossed his protesting pet down the stairs into the basement. He took out the bare bulb at the head of the stairs. 

 

Alex blubbered, "Don't keep me in the dark, Walter. Come on, Walter. Walter, it wasn't me. It was them. It was them." 

 

"I had to be lied to!" Walter yelled. "You just think about things. I'm not done with you yet, boy." 

 

 

OooOooO 

 

As Walter cleaned, he heard a commotion behind him. He turned and saw.... 

 

An Alex with curly hair and a mustache, an Alex with a pierced ear who wore flannel shirts, another one who appeared to have been burning breakfast when Walter interrupted him. There were wild looking Alexs waving guns. A sweet one in a police uniform. Another one that waved a bottle of champagne at him. The entire house was filled with Alexs. 

 

This should have been a good thing, but Walter realized that Mulder had been right. Now what? 

 

The phone rang. Walter picked it up. It was Mulder. 

 

Mulder quickly said, "Walter, I wanted to remind you. The rules..don't use Wet on Alex. Don't keep him in the dark, and don't eat him after Midnight." 

 

 

Mournfully, Walter said, "Too late. I screwed up. He appears to have spawned. The house is full of him...oh, God, hold on." 

 

Running to the basement door, Walter found a weeping Alex, scratching at the door. 

 

Holding the sobbing man in his arms, Walter said, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Now what do I do?" 

 

"How many are there?" Mulder asked. 

 

"Thirty eight," Walter answered. 

 

"No, wait," Walter added as one of the Alex clones sprayed another, causing a flurry of emerging Alexs. "One hundred and ninety, not counting out Alex." 

 

"We could keep them all," Mulder suggested greedily. 

 

Alex shook his head, 'no'. 

 

Walter said, "Alex says no." 

 

"Well, we can't just put them in a shelter," Mulder said. 

 

"Party favors," Alex said, grabbing the spray bottle from the Alex clone's hand. 

 

"Good idea," Walter said, "Someone has to be having a birthday. We'll just tie them up with pretty green ribbons and find them good homes." 

 

Nodding, Alex said, "Good homes, far from here. And, Walter, if there's going to be a birthday spanking, you get it. You were bad." 

 

Not in the least bit fearful, Walter squirmed. He just wouldn't mention that he LIKED being spanked. 

 

Capturing an escaping clone, Walter roared, "And now, clean up this place!" We have a party to plan!" 

 

 

The End.


End file.
